Cabin Fever

Tis the season for merriment and deliciously toasted beverages

     Unless global warming has entered your neck of the woods it should be quite chilly out and it's time for scarves and fair isle sweaters. Since the season is upon us I say welcome it with open arms and rum,  plenty of rum. It's a versatile alcohol that is exceptionally delicious in warm concoctions. So, children, I say grab yourself a bottle, some ingredients, and head up to the mountains for some much needed rest and reprieve from modern society (and people, mostly people). I highly recommend a cabin such as...

This cabin may appear small but it was the perfect size to force my boyfriend and I to always be within arms reach of each other. After a day of skiing it was the perfect place to come back to and  warm our bodies with hot buttered rums and spiced rum cider. A recipe for the ideal cozy fireside cuddle session with Christmas music softly strumming in the background and the flannel boxers you bought at Gap awhile back. 

So here is my secret recipe for the delicious rum beverages... Enjoy:

Hot Buttered Rum:

I didn't remember the recipe for them but recalled the main ingredients were: 

• Butter
• Rum
• Brown Sugar
• Some Winter Spices
• Boiling Water

Not knowing the correct portions I mixed half a stick of butter with a handful of brown sugar. After I mixed them together I just added what seemed like a shot of rum and filled the mug with boiling water. (Sugar, butter, and rum who doesn't love these?!?)...Normally they are delicious, in this instance they weren't. After failing, I suggest you chug it down (don't waste rum) and boil some more water for the next potation. 

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Spiced Rum Cider!

• Rum
• Boiling Water
• Those packets of powdered spiced cider

Yes, these packets. With them the drinks are exceptionally easy to make, I'm not above it. Now, with the appropriate and delicious libations in hand we can let the festivities begin! Since this is best served hot it'll warm your body and the rum will warm your soul and/or any achy muscles you've acquired from skiing. It pairs perfectly with homey seasonal dishes like chili. It also pairs beautifully with a second drink; so keep the water hot. 

All liquored up and cozied in to a loved one (cats?) this drink really brings together the winter season. Wool socks, sweaters, flannel, down comforters, snow and even more snow. This is the perfect season for the introvert (who actually wants to ever leave the house?) and god forbid you attend a party... But if you're feeling crazy enough this is the perfect drink to woo guests with. Just don't let them see the discarded packaging. To this I say Happy Holidays and Happy Drinking. Stay Cozy. 

Family Size Chicken Lasagna

Freshly made pasta layered between white meat chicken and crisp vegetables in a creamy sauce.

Stouffer's. Stouffer's. Stouffer's. I'm only reviewing the chicken one because it's the most recent one I've had the pleasure of enjoying; the vegetable one is far better, though. However these are absolute bliss. They are delicious and something I'd gladly buy a hundred times from Stouffer's. They are the perfect size (family) to have a wonderful dinner with your boyfriend, lunch the next day and once he goes out of town you can eat your feelings for a solid three or four days!

Nutrition Facts:

• Calories: 400
• Fat: 13g
• Fiber: 3g
• Protein: 16g
• Sodium: 740 mg
• Carbs: 54g

Preferred Beverage: White wine, It's got to be white wine. Chicken lasagna; it just screams white wine! Also, nothing is classier than sitting, alone, at a table, and only a glass of white wine separating you and the candle light for two. 

Proper Attire: It really doesn't matter. You're alone so no one needs to know you were wearing a snuggie. 

Appropriate Cinema: I found that it's best to eat in front of a mirror. It'll appear you're dining with another person and if you're especially lonely you can pretend it's your traveling boyfriend (even if you don't have one!!). If there's no mirror at the ready to dine in front of I'm sure your cats will offer their brief companionship. 

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       If you love leftovers, boy is this the dish for you! It's ideal to woo a lover with your culinary (frozen dinner) prowess and then continue to eat the same thing for several days thereafter. The vegetables and sauce pair perfectly with the knowledge that you'll be alone for several days (or forever); just hold the tears. Save any sadness or crying for dessert (don't spoil the night)! We also wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly good meal. If crying is a must it can be saved for any of the subsequent meals. Alas there comes a time when every morsel has been devoured and as James Baldwin wrote "everybody has to leave the Garden of Eden.".

Sunday Night Blues

Ok, lets be honest. You're home. It's been a trying day and all you want to do is relax. What better way than to create an easy hor d'oeuvre and drink a cold beer to mull over the days events. You're home alone because you're nerdy and fabulous boyfriend has jeted across the continent to invariably make him that much more attractive (if that's possible). Your roommate won't be home for while so let's indulge and give in to our every whim. I decided to make my favorite: Bacon wrapped dates stuffed with goat cheese. 

There really is no appetizing way to display these

Recipe; Bacon, dates, and goat cheese .

• Stuff the goat cheese into the dates. 
• Wrap in bacon and push a toothpick through to keep it together. 
• I've found that placing them on a wired rack over a cookie sheet yields the best and crispiest bacon by allowing the fat to fall down so it doesn't just soak in it. 
• Place into the oven at about 400 and turn at the 10 minute mark, leave in for about 20 minutes or until you've reached your desirable crispiness. 

                 Now it's time to start your night. Take your bacon-deliciousness straight to the bathroom and we cannot forget your beverage too! Start a shower and allow it to get extra steamy as you light a few candles and set the mood with some Lana Del Rey. 
                It's nights like these that you have to yourself that you really get to be introspective and think about all the things you've been through and can truly be appreciative of. Traditionally I would pick up a book and devour it's contents; but as of late my contents have selfishly taken over. My life is fantastic. I love it. I just want be able to fully enjoy every aspect of it and appropriately react to each circumstance and exude love unto those that I hold most dear. 
              The one that comes to mind is my boyfriend. He deserves so much for the things I've put him through and experiences with me. I'd also hate to neglect how supportive and intelligent he is/ has been. I'd wish for nothing more than to curl up in his arms and feed him this delicious bacon dish right meow. 
Ever since he entered my life it has been wholly enriched beyond believe. Without him I probably would't have seen a therapist. A psychotherapist that was quick to prescribe and treat. I searched for alternatives before going; but accepted defeat and booked an appointment. 
                 It was defeating in that everything I could think of/ try just didn't work and this women's answer was quickly and easily drugs. Off putting. The psychotherapist was, after-all, right with her drug cocktails (well not all of then but perhaps just 1 pill). After a revelation/ hypothesis that certain behavior was exacerbated by other internal conflicts and/ or 'personality disorders'. I'm excited that it'll work and that I'll finally feel again, I can concentrate and ignore any possible anxiety and negative feelings to things that are inherently positive. 
                Yes, I'm sad that the boyfriend is away for the week. However, I legitimately feel excited and pleased for him because it's good for his career and to escape my recent weirdness. Conversely I genuinely miss his body next to mine as I lay down to sleep miss his shivering when he first climbs into bed and I get to warm him up. It feels wonderful to feel the love of others and give it in return... and also to fully appreciate bacon again. 
           Sometimes, it just takes a little bacon, steam, and well placed candle lighting to wholly appreciate the magnificent things you have in your life. Especially the people who still talk to you after all you did was complain for an entire year. Oh what a year it's been! 

Hot Chocolate

Ladies and Gentlemen lets have a talk, 

It should probably look like this

        First of all I need you to go fix yourself some hot chocolate. Don't skimp out on 'sugar free' or 'low sugar' or any of the generic brands you can find. I'm talking about the good stuff. Premium hot chocolate. Milk, aways use milk because it's 99 times superior to water in any chocolate beverage. Lastly, place a few marshmallows in there to make it extra special; whipping cream for those who felt 
even more risque.(Cough, schnapps, anyone?) Are we ready now, can we have a chat?
        Let's start off with a little background info. Lately my life has been interesting. Introspective and heavily lacking in lean cuisine. I became a terrible student, friend, and an even worse boyfriend. My exceptionally high standards for myself and how I interact in society had slipt. Feeling sad and irritable at the drop of a hat or the slamming of a cupboard (they prefer to be gently closed). Irrational and weird behaviors were creeping up on me. It was a slow rolling cloud that was only accruing more negativity and pressure. Anxiety. Depression. It needed to disappear. 
       I took it upon myself to banish this cloud before anything could happen. No! Cloud, go away! I tried exercising more, eating healthier (lol!), and tried to vent/ communicate what I was feeling to my boyfriend and some friends. It only came off as nagging and bitchy comments. It was unpleasant and I felt bad about what I had said/ done but only until I unraveled myself from the cloud's embrace. 
        Feeling defeated by the inability of my fabulous relaxation techniques I learned from a class to fully banish this cloud I sought out a therapist. Upon talking to her she quickly sought out a psychotherapist (I knew I had a problem but..). This psychotherapist quickly prescribed a mood stabilizer. Apprehensively, I conceded and began taking it. 
        Glorious. The clouds seemed to part and I could be me again. I felt better(ish) and was less of a twat to everyone around me.... especially my lovely boyfriend who had the privilege to see the worst of it all and was gracious enough to not slap me. Alas, every story has a twist or some version thereof. I recently went back to said psychotherapist for a follow up. 

         I may have forgot to mention Panic Attacks. They happen and it's super special..... I mentioned to my therapist I was feeling better but the attacks seemed to worsen and I hated it and I try everything to avoid them. Tried meditating, relaxing, counting, and distracting myself, they all just prolonged the inevitable... That feeling when you need to cry but can't. It's horrible; so why not just cry and get it out? I developed this philosophy for the panic. Just get it over with and try to move on. Just let it happen. I described this to the psychotherapist. 
         The psychotherapist was quick to prescribe more meds (yay?). I asked about alternatives and what I could do that didn't involve any more medication, who wants to be that person? Ultimately, she told me they were excellent fixes for short term relief and then we can work on long term goals sans medications; this was her selling point for them. So long as she would continue to provide me with information on these alternatives and working on them with me.  
         So feeling rather introspective after a wondrous cuddle/ (nap... its 2 am) session with le boyfriend I decided to gather my thoughts and shower. Whenever I'm about to enter the shower, feeling pensive, I anticipate some amazing euphony to happen. Euphoria! Just kidding! The only thing I could come up with was that why were they so ready to prescribe? Her pen blazed across the paper as soon as the lethargic printer regurgitated the necessary paperwork. The therapist didn't even bat an eye. I felt like she should have gotten to know me more. Figure me out. Knowing more about my life story than what I could briefly recapitulate in less than an hour. Who knows, maybe this is the right path to take. I want to be a better, happier, healthier person (if not for me for my amazing boyfriend and siblings) so are these medications right for me... for us?
         There's only one way to find out. I shall attempt to stay positive for what the future beholds (less drugs!) because life is a pretty exciting thing when you get down to thinking about it all! A quote that, for some reason inspires me, "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." -Inception. 

Darling, thats what gets me. Darling.