Meatballs.

Meatballs.

It's been a long time coming; but who doesn't love a good dinner party. I mean only good can happen when you combine food, friends, wine and a fireplace. Okay, a fireplace probably isn't necessary for a dinner party but realistically it is, it really is. Any practical person knows that hosting your own dinner party would be hellacious so you'll need to persuade one of your fireplace-owning-large-kitchened-friends. Once they've agreed upon a time you can then further lure them into the food preparations; make sure it's something delicious. Meatballs. Meatballs are one of the greatest creations the Italians gave us, right next to pizza. They're easy to make and even easier to eat.

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The best thing to do is to show up early. Normally, this is horrible advice (fashionably late). You'll need to get a head start on wine drinking so you'll be perfectly social when more guests arrive and you'll look extra polite when you offer to help cook things. DO THE MEATBALLS. They're super easy to make and everyone loves meatballs, you'll be the life of the party, which this is really about. The host should already have ingredients for making meatballs and a recipe. If not; you should probably just leave (who doesn't serve meatballs at ANY dinner party?!?). Should you stay (read brought your own ingredients) prepare them however you'd like. They're super easy to make. Toss some shit together, ball, and bake! Hor d'ouvres everyone will love!

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Once the meatballs have been finished you can retire to socialize while others slave away in the kitchen. You've done your part and any party guests you wanted to woo have been wooed. Since you've already been drinking wine you may enjoy the piano (someone who was invited inevitably should already be playing.) you may lounge fireside. Drink in hand, chat up the party guests, and wait for the main courses. Unless, of course,  you're already lurking around the meatballs secretly nabbing and stuffing your face with them when, on the off chance, no one is around. I eat meatballs like I eat cake, like someone is going to catch me. This is also an excellent way to weed out the party guests you obviously won't click with. Anyone who isn't lurking the meatballs like you are isn't worth associating with. When the dinner is finally served you'll be well acquainted with the wine menu and the party guest you most want to spend time with. Ensuring you have successful night with said guest, you'll need to sit next to them, or near them! After all a friendship solidified in the shadows of wine and meatballs isn't something to be toyed with. An eternal bond forever cemented in gluttony! Wait no less, you've some schmoozing to do! Lure one of your friends into a dinner party and ensure they'll only be inviting the finest guests!