Starbucks' Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato

Starbucks, our patron saint, mother of propriety, caffeinated beverages, goddess of overpriced indulgences -serves this delicious delicacy. 

The Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato. 

So, you're stranded somewhere in LA (dear friend has personal business to attend to) what do we do? I, also, might add that you're flat ass broke and the only money you have has  been loaded to your Starbucks app from a gift card your boyfriend has in Texas (thank god for this app, am I right?!). I decided it was absolutely necessary to sit down at the only place that would accept my currency and enjoy my last few hours in LA as any decent person would (engaged in my gadgets ignoring the gorgeous weather). I might also add that the cheapest car in the parking lot before me is a Lexus from 2010. It all adds to the ambiance of things. Los Angeles is a pretty marvelous place, full of ambitious, lazy, people and money. Lots and lots of money. Hey, lady with the minivan you can't park there!
Anyway the Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato is the perfect way to wholly take in LA and all it's grandeur. 

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Nutrition Facts:

• Calories: 230
• Total Fat: 6g
• Carbs: 34g
• Protein: 10g
• Sugars: 31g
• Caffeine: 150mg

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Preferred Beverage: Now, naturally, this is the preferred beverage. You need to splurge the $4.25 and go grande... Don't go a size up and waste all of your spending allowance  but enough to 'treat' yourself to the LA lifestyle. 

Proper Attire: Something snazzy. You need to look good. C'mon you're in LA sitting next to twin Range Rovers and someone's Mercedes. If you're flying soon you need to look like you mean business (so no one will talk to you on the airplane) *Airport tip; walk with purpose; even if you're 3 hours early; power stomp wherever you go and be fabulous about it, even to the little boys/girls room. 

Appropriate Cinema: Iphone or Macbook. Find something to do and don't look up. Walking, sitting, car accident, sunset, Jesus, don't look up. I cannot stress this enough; to blend with the 'locals' just don't do it. If you want to be exceptionally obnoxious you can put your white (read Apple) earbuds in and listen to some indie-hipster-shit-music or as I preferred 'She Wolf' by David Guetta (Obsessed, repeat) No body needs to know you're not listening to the latest sounds of 'Bag of Cats' and 'Jingling Change'.

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Now that you're wholly engaged in constantly checking Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr on all your expensive Apple gadgets you can finally enjoy your Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato (if you don't want it looking like the picture above you can order it 'upside down' and they'll stir it for you). It's a tantalizing beverage and would pair perfectly with peppermint schnapps or Bailey's (what coffee drink wouldn't, though), that is if you were able to acquire some before you spent all your money on that sale item from the American Apparel Warehouse. The drink, itself, faintly tastes of coffee. Those that loathe the coffee flavor would be delighted. I would dub it an introductory beverage to those who want a full blown caffeine addiction; albeit expensive to drink all the time, but Hey! LA! It also contains enough milk, sugary-delight, and caffeine to fulfill any missed meals and give you the drive to power through the day. 

Sadly, I just realized, while everyone was busy ordering iced drinks on this beautiful day we're supposed to drink them within the confines of the warm buildings. We're 'locals', remember, we hate the outdoors and anything below 80º (Fahrenheit) is 'cold'. Lets blog about it. 

My writing is perfect; so I don't need to proofread.